The road to being parents, started long before Easton’s
existence. Somewhere in about year two of marriage, we began talking about
starting a family, as most couples do; however, the road to pregnancy was not
easy. After about a year of trying to start a family, we sought medical help
and I was prescribed medication that would “surely” get us pregnant. Well,
after seven long and miserable months of medicine, my OBGYN said she could do
no more and referred us to a reproductive endocrinologist (a fancy term for
‘fertility doctor’). We immediately fell in love with the endocrinologist,
trusting her judgment, and after months of testing and procedures, we were
deemed a “go” with our first fertility treatment procedure, an IUI. After a few
unsuccessful attempts, we were heartbroken and just frustrated and decided to
take a much-needed time off from the hustle and bustle of doctor appointments
and medications. Right after our last attempt, I can remember reading a
friend’s blog, who also struggled with infertility, and her words struck a
chord in my heart. I was failing to simply be content with all the God had
given me to enjoy in this life—a loving husband, a beautiful home, a job that I
love, great friends, and a wonderful church family(to just name a few). That’s
when it hit me. I needed a new perspective. I no longer felt the need to BE a
mother, yet still a longing desire, it just was no longer my identity and
purpose in this life.
Well, to make this REALLY long story short(er), about half a
year after our last unsuccessful attempt to start our family, we had an
unexpected run in with our RE and she started to talk to us about IVF. We
listened to her and said we would think about it, which we had, months prior,
but decided that it would be a LAST resort…maybe four to five years down the
road. However, after revisiting the topic, it no longer became a taboo but
something we prayerfully considered and felt a peace about pursuing IVF. Originally,
I had felt embarrassed and ashamed, having had thoughts of what would people
say or react when we told them about IVF. But a dear sweet friend of mine,
reminded me that people were on our side and wanted us to start a family,
regardless of the way it happened. Never once did we not feel at peace with
IVF, which helped those thoughts diminish and go away. So, this past summer, we
took a huge leap of faith, and decided to give IVF a try, not knowing at all the
path that was ahead of us. Although life became utterly busy with appointments,
shots, and tears of anxiety along the way, God continued to not waver and pave
our path to start our family.
After our first attempt at IVF, for the first time in my
life, I heard the words that I had dreamt and prayed for year, “You’re
Pregnant!” At about week 6 of pregnancy, I start to bleed and feared the loss
of our beloved little baby. We went to the doctor the next morning, and our
baby was still living and heard its sweet heartbeat for the first time.
Tears falling from our eyes, we were overwhelmed at this sweet life to come. I
tell you this story because today I made a connection and it made me smile. Our
fetal cardiologist recently told us that at about five to six weeks, in-utero,
when the baby doesn’t even look like a baby, and everything is twisting and
forming, that’s when Easton’s heart didn’t develop properly. I can’t help but
make the connection that God ordained our little’s boy’s life, even back at
week six when everything was forming. People often say that miscarriages occur
because of a genetic mutation that didn’t allow the baby to form properly.
Words can’t express how overwhelmed I am that God deemed Easton’s life as a
masterpiece, even though the medical community would disagree.
I think back to that gut-wrenching office visit sitting and
waiting to hear if we had lost our baby, to only think that it was the
beginning of such a unique and special journey. I’m so thankful that
Easton’s heart was beating that day and each and every subsequent day that it
continues to beat, even though deemed imperfect. I can’t help to make the
connection that God had big plans for our “little red ninja,” and continues to
let his heart beat and body form throughout this pregnancy.
That’s why on days like Sunday, a special day to celebrate
Easton’s life, it really IS a celebration! On the way to shower, I got
emotional because I thought about all the drives I had made to friends’ baby
showers and gifts I had given, only this time, we were driving to OUR own baby
shower. A day where people gathered around and didn’t dwell on Easton’s heart
disease but rather to celebrate the sweet life that has been entrusted to us. I
can’t tell you how many hugs I received with quiet whispers in my ear, that
families, churches, and friends were/are praying for us. It was a beautiful
snapshot that yet again serves as another reminder of how God is meeting our
needs throughout the support, prayers, and encouragement of so many.
God was certainly good to us through infertility, IVF, that
day when we heard Easton’s heart beat for the first time, and even on the day
when we found out that he has heart disease and several other health
complications. He continues to be good and we cling to that each and every day.
Even though we are facing the scariest and most challenging road we have ever
walked, I am reminded of His faithfulness even before our journey to parenthood
began.
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